back on the road again...

Saturday, July 22, 2006

i found the answers to the question i asked at the end of the previous entry. the whether u can love 2 people at the same time thing. check it out at http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html
i guess the best analogy for this is that anyone who are parents with a few kids would know that it is possible to love many people at the same time and most importantly, loving them all equally. im not talking about the way u love ur friends. not friends, but lovers and such.
taken frm the web:"How can you stand knowing your lover is with someone else? Don't you feel like maybe they're better in bed than you are?" The long answer to that question is very complex. The short answer is simple: It doesn't matter. It's not a contest.
this web has really opened my mind. polygamous relationships isnt abt unfaithfulness or cheating, cause everyone agrees to this arrangement. it's not about sharing ur love among many people. it's about having many hearts to love everyone whole heartedly.amazing. but weird. i wldnt go through this. finding that this polygamous or polyamorous relationship really do exist made me super paranoid and scared.kind of.what if my boyfriend finds out that he is capable of having two lovers??an individual CANNOT know for sure if he is capable of it unless it HAPPENED. oh no.dont ever want it to happen but there's is no guarantee!! who knows one day, i may found out that i belong to such a group of freaks.

saw this on the web too: Jealousy is most common when somebody feels insecure, mistreated, threatened, or vulnerable in a relationship. If you feel secure in a relationship, you don't get jealous. Jealousy is not the problem; jealousy is the SYMPTOM of the problem.
well dont ask why i put this. just an after thought maybe.
the web says if you feel jealous, ask yourself if the jealousy is a rational one and that something is really brewing up in the relationship. or the jealousy is just serving itself, meaning killing yourself unnecessarily, because there is no cause for feeling jealous. but what im thinking is that, how would you really know if something is brewing?what if u think that u're just feeling jealous irrationally, but in reality, there really is something? hmm.

i think so much. way too much.

10:04 PM