Saturday, September 30, 2006

"true love lasts forever. it doesnt, and will not just disappear. unless..it's the wrong person u're in love with. then, it's not true love anymore."

with cultural changes and all that, people can love again and again and they call it true love(s). but for myself, im not sure. i like the true love definition i put above. but the person im in love with doesnt believe in true love.to him, love is love. no true or false. his wife wld probably be his nth love and he had loved (n-1) women before her.
but then again, if i agree with that definition, it wld mean that i will never love again if my love and i broke up. unless......he's been the wrong guy all this while. *horrified*

i want a knight in shining armour!

ya right.

5:08 PM

Monday, September 25, 2006

i wasnt even watching singapore idol. then i heard screams of victory. i turned on the tv..Hady is the new singapore idol.*shakes head*.i think Hady is Taufik v2.0. they look and sound the same to me. sigh. i feel that jonathan has more X-factor then hady.hady looked the same from day1 to the finals. jonathan constantly improves his image.i even thought jon looked super ugly at the start.now, at least he looks decent.haha.
my mum is extremely bitter that hady won.not because she thinks he's lousy.in fact, she never watched a single episode. she's just bitter cause she's racist. she hates my malay neighbours to the extent that we're going to start looking for a new apartment after my alevels, and she's going to make sure that there are no malays as direct next door neighbour. my mum is sick of them. she never showed hostility towards them in anyway. she even put on a facade and smiles to them whenever she sees them. but deep inside (not that deep actually, it's just simmering under the surface), she's stabbing them in the heart, hoping they wld suddenly die of a cardiac arrest. this, is what i call, the definition of racial TOLERANCE in singapore. not acceptance. but tolerance. sigh.
my brother had another interpretation of hady's victory. there're more muslim teens and youths than chinese. malays commonly have large families with many many kids. their birth rate is probably twice higher than that of chinese's. hence they're more malays in their youths than chinese now, if not, soon. and people of the same race tend to support each other. so, hady won. yea. is my family racist or what. my bro came frm this jc that was (still is i think), really racist towards muslims. everyone there cracks muslim racist jokes on a regular basis. although it may be purely for fun and they dont mean it, it may still be hurtful if a muslim hears it.

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater
He sendeth more strength when the labours increase
To added affliction He addeth His mercy
To multiplied trials His multiplied peace
Amen.

www.lightamillioncandles.com
light as many candles as u can

9:30 PM

Monday, September 18, 2006

please go to www.lightamillioncandles.com to light a candle for victims of child pornography. this is a petition to encourage govt bodies and all authorities to take action against child porn. hopefully the petition will be successful. we need a million candles! so please please go light a candle and help spread the word too.

9:25 PM

Sunday, September 17, 2006

just a quick blog before i sleep.hmm a couple of amusing things.
my form tutor mrs au is known for saying the stupidest things that dont make sense.during chem lesson on friday,she told us to take out the june2006 alvl paper out and put it infront of us. as if we dont know that after taking the paper out, we had to put it on our tables which happen to be infront of us.then she said, "when you have something proper infront of u(the alvl paper), u'll do your work properly." i was like huh??? then i wrote it down on the chem paper tt i had to blog this. haha.
the after sch, zac, nigel, tham and i went to the library to do some chem work. after tham left, jamie and weihan joined us. that's when all the gayness started. im the only girl in the group. the guys started talking about gay stuff cause they're all supposedly homos. then they started saying something abt (lee) kuan yew doing something that i cant mention here..then...*drumroll*....zac said, "who's kuan yew? weihan,he's ur classmate ah." omg! haha. zac baby!u're such a himbo(male for bimbos). not that u're pea-brained like bimbos but u cant not know who kuan yew is. staying in america for a few years aint an excuse, sweetie. they say it w/o his surname cause they think kuan yew is their gay best friend or something.oops.haha.baby.i love you.

oh.people, esp zac. the jasmine on my nick isnt jas! for god's sake! why would i be bothered by a pea-brained girl? did i say pea-brained? my bad. i meant airheaded.no brains at all. well the jasmine is jasmine tye, an sg idol finalist. i support jonathan! such deep sexy voice. i thought he sounded like the lead singer in nickleback. i love nickleback =) <33

11:19 PM

Monday, September 11, 2006

few days back, i had a fight with my mum and she told me to get my hair cut really short such that my ears are visible. cause my mum doesnt like my ear piercings and thus she wants my ear to be visible to her at all times. she doesnt want me to tie it up only cause it wastes time. what rubbish logic. and of course i was really really upset. to cut away hair that took me 2yrs to grow?? and i know i looked really bad in short hair? not going to happen man. i told zac abt this,whine,complain, everything. i didnt know he did this until i saw him today. he got his hair cut too. like army style. to accompany me,thinking i'd get my hair chopped off, and so i'll feel better too. he never cut his hair this short before. he did this for me. omg i was so moved by him that i cried. he did this for me, and the worst thing is: i didnt cut my hair in the end. fought with my mum till she gave in to me. i feel so terrible. i hope his hair grows back by prom night. the last few days before sch reopened, he kept saying he has something to show me. he felt bad and even stupid about it. now i know why. he hates this hair cut. i feel ultra bad. it made me want to go cut my hair so he didnt do it for nothing. but he said simply that he did it for me and has no regrets about it. =") worse still, when ppl commented that the hair cut didnt really do good for him, i feel like SHIT.
baby dont feel stupid about it. it's a very noble thing that u did. u sacrificed ur hair for me. i love you. i never thought u'll do this for me. thank you. i love you..

7:36 PM

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

ah feels great! ran 4.8km today. wanted to run more but my legs betrayed me. to run a longer distance,i have to run really slow. but i hate running slowly. my legs cldnt take it anymore when im nearing 4.8km and i broke into a sprint and became totally out of breath 200m later. sprinting is more my thing but i cant stand big leg muscles that result from sprinting. i love the feel of my feet pounding hard on the ground and my muscles pumping fast. not to mention, i love the exhilarating speed frm sprinting. the last part of the run is downhill. so it is really great speeding down. =D anyway im trying to run longer distances and slower to get really sexy pins like long-distance runners have =))

8:28 PM

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

i keep hearing my neighbours play table tennis these few days. cause it's the holidays n all that. i want to play to! gosh.i missed table tennis! i longed to remove the protective covering of my table tennis paddle again to play. after cca ended,i havent touched table tennis. table tennis seems like an idiotic game,hitting a ball to and fro in a little table.but it's a game of extreme precision.u only have half a sec or less to contemplate the direction of the returning ball and how to hit it.unlike tennis or badminton where u can actually see the ball,table tennis is such a quick game that once u blink,u'll lose ur chance to hit the ball n u lose that point.scary but challenging.it's extremely tiring too thou the distance covered is really minimal.it comes frm extreme concentration and precision. =) i love table tennis.

8:34 PM

everyone out there,thanks for ur concern. im fine.really.i know what i did was right.being humble,less prideful and thus apologising.despite not having the effects that i wished for,that she'd realise her mistakes and apologise too,it doesnt matter cause God and zac himself knew i did the right thing.afterall i got my inspirations to do that frm the bible itself.the bible said i shld do things to seek God's approval, not hers.so it really doesnt matter anymore what she thinks. yea. =)
anyway zac, do u know ur mum is great? she's so nice.apologetic although she's not really sure or she dont rmb what she did. but she apologised anyway.that's really nice. good example for all christians out there. i wish my mum is like that too.

from the book devotions:
One of the things Ive learned as Ive grown older is not to expect too much from people. Its possible to pour a good deal of energy and love into a friend or family member and see no growth or receive no gratitude for our efforts. Its even possible that others may receive credit for the work we have done.

If we expect everyone to recognize and appreciate what we have done for them, we will certainly be deeply hurt. We will start asking ourselves: “Is this all the thanks I get?”

It’s good in those times of disappointment to look at our motives. Do we have an unholy sense of entitlement, or a passion to be seen and applauded for our efforts? Can we give freely and allow others to take responsibility for their own responses? The apostle Paul went through times in his service for the Lord when everyone forsook him. Yet his focus was on the strength that God gave him “so that the message might be preached fully” through him (2 Timothy 4:16-17).

We should never expect to gain from others what only Jesus can give. To do so is to be utterly unrealistic. Our task is simply to give and leave the results to our Master, knowing that in time we will receive His reward: “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21). —David H. Roper

The service that we do for God
May go unpraised by men;
But when we stand before the Lord,
He will reward us then. —Sper

Work done well for Christ will receive a well done from Christ.

When others let us down, instead of giving in to discouragement let us change our focus and remind ourselves that we who have put our faith in Jesus are God’s children—cherished and cared for by Him. —Anne Cetas

Christian, are you disappointed
With the world and all around?
Turn your eyes from earth to heaven,
Where true joys may all be found. —Anon.

When others let you down, look up.

7:17 PM

people always believe that when people are guilty of something,they'll get really defensive when found out. but me,im the exact opposite.i hate being maligned.when people accused me or maligned me,i get ultra defensive.and yet when im truely guilty of something,i'll actually have nothing to say.yea.im different frm most people. so..my defensiveness only mean im being wrongly accused.

5:48 PM

Monday, September 04, 2006

so many things happened recently.i broke up with zac but got together again with him a couple of hours later.thinking of it still makes me cry though we're together again.it still makes me cry because it makes me think of how silly i was,how rash n impulsive i was.it is a feeling of great remorse and i really thank god,my lucky stars and everyone else in the world that i managed to get back with him.i initiated it in a moment of anger.i regreted it and knew that i didnt mean it once i sent that sms out.im ever grateful to zac for having me back.nothing at all can express my gratitude to him for his boundless and unconditional love and forgiveness that is uncannily christ-like.thank u Lord.and most of all,thank u zac.i love u with all my life,heart n soul.i owe it to del and div too,for listening to me and helping me talk to zac on my behalf cause he was angry n unwilling to listen to my explainations.i dont blame him.it's truely my fault and i can only thank him for forgiving me.

on a happier note,i went out with zac today.we kissed and kissed.we really missed each other after our ordeal.to me,the kisses were both familiar and sweet,yet unfamiliar and tingling.they were familiar cause i've been kissing him all the time since 15mths ago,yet unfamiliar cause we just got back together,and i felt as if they were my first kisses with him.
anyway,we ate at swensens.thanks baby for his hsbc credit card.got a free sundae worth 9bucks for buying a meal that costs 14bucks =))) is it worth it or what? *beams*

baby,i really do want to forgive her.i just need a tiny little apology frm her which will make my forgiving 100times easier.i love u sweetheart.
The best way to conquer an enemy is with the weapon of love. Forgiveness is christianity is action. "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another,tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." ephesians 4:31,32
"do not repay evil with evil or abuse with abuse; but on the contrary, repay with a blessing." 1peter3:9
"keep your conscience clear when you are maligned, those who abuse you for your good conduct may be put to shame." 1peter3:16